SJ DAY TODAY!!!
AND I PARTICIPATED!
haha,
saw cherisse when i had fell in, she was trying to tell me that we had to go for baking. so i just shook my head and i think she go thte point. lol
first parade not too bad, but the national anthem interrupted the kekanan lurus.
went to origami with chrstine and daniel.
all my class guys were in origami -_- what the heck
syfoc: chionged there and were kinda late.
i realised why they need first aiders for parades.
other than fainting, some people might hit their legs wwith their boots while doing drill ands get huge abrasions/bruises.
lol, when i hit my leg there was this numb feeling that went in a ring around my leg, which made me clench my fists super tight because it was
#$%^@&ing painful.
which reminds me of the time i skinned my foot when i was little because i stepped on a cardboard book that was on my
other foot.
haha. i laugh at myself. the bruise is about the size of half my thumb, with a few cuts thrown in.
somehow my shoe pushed down the sock enough to hit the skin.
pity i banged down so hard.
ow. it still hurts.
got back late. came back too see nicholas(my young neighbour) having his weekly (unofficial) piano lesson with my mum.
and they provided dinner, which i could hardly eat. ate a bit that -er someone, forgot her nameXD- made me eat from her packet becuas she couldnt finish it and wanted me to eat.
she and someone else were saying: "later you faint ah...then we faint with you"
-_____-lol!
yet it wasnt too bad. the music reminded me of national day.
the sir in charge of SJ was quite a tease.
in the bus back to the hq chrisinte daniel and i sang songs till one of the sirs (a c/l) looked at us like we were nuts.
haha,
dont we just rock?
I stopped ranting at | 7:20 AM
today was...stupid
had some civil defense thing which included first aid(during which i slacked, and tied the
proper elevation sling, instead of what they taught us, which was like some improvised sling-_-), and cpr, when jacob saboed me to do a demo by telling the guy i was from sj. and mook was talking about 3 stripes (trying to refer to my ranking) which made me:
1. almost choke while taking a breath before the next blow
2. glare/stare at him like he was nuts
3. "are you nuts?!"
4. mook, shut up. dont insult my seniors. lol.
what the $&^%@
went home with weixin, cherisse and zinc.
on the way,some kindergarten kids at the basketball court near the cc saw us, pressed their faces to the fence and called out "jiejie!"
and they didnt even know us! aww. sweetened me up instantly.
the reason i actually
required sweetiening was because before that i was being pissed about the fact i was missing our first ever sj day in full u, unlike last year when we just went around in some rojak of full u and not, because of the stupid electives week, and i cant even go for flag raising in full u becuase they insist on us leaving at 7.45, 15MINUTES BEFORE first parade. what the heck!
i'm damn pissed now.
though zinc would probably tell me this isnt worth wasting any piss on. she sure knows how to talk.
i wished i could write some long emo story right here, or some nice play. but nooooooooooo.
i just dont know how to emo properly.
and some people think that not being able to emo is good.
this is dumb. i want to emo, but i dont know how to write it down here like i wish i could.
some people are just so lucky.
i'm writing for fast+fresh again, i suppose. but what if i cant get into the finals?
i'll be damn depressed. i want to write an emo play this year. and i know exactly what i'm writing about.
___________________________________________________________________
I'm
not okay. Everyone thinks that it doesnt matter when they decide to mistreat someone. They think that person ought to know, or at least think that since they're just so bored they should leave someone out of their stupid, perfect cliques. It's only right.
But that's nothing.
They insist that since they're so bored, they;ve just
got to push that person around, purposely emphasising that they're not wanted in the class. They're just some useless bug that's there as a little time-waster when they need a diversion from lessons. They're just some person who needs to be left out, or else they'll simply waste away. They
love being left out, pushed around and insulted on a daily basis.
So now I'm just left here. Left here to die and waste away, because no one cares. Because it doesnt matter that I have feelings; as far as anyone's concerned, they're nonexistent. Because I'm just this person with crappy social skills who has absolutely zero friends, except for my stuffed kiwi. And myself.
People love to talk about how much I've grown, and whatever rubbish adults love to waste time talking about.
But all I do is sit there and smile. I pretend to be happy, to be insensitive to whatever taunts, whatever insults, whatever annoying laughter are thrown at me, not to have any feelings.
I pretend to be strong, to be resillient. To be the hardcore kind who doesn't bother about what people say, but just shrug it off.
But am I?
They're my only hope. And I'm afraid they hate me. For being too bold. For showing off. For not being able to understand their feelings. For having
no feelings.
My squad.
I just love you people, did you know that? You're like brothers and sisters to me. Scolding me, laughing with me, laughing at one another, enduring all those hardships together as one, whether durings trainings or not. You're all so dear to me. And I'm just so afraid I'm going to loose you too.
No. If that happens, I'll be an impossible person - no, it's possible. A person in a friendship-based environment with no friends. No. I hope it never comes to that.
Please. Just be honest with me. Have I done you any wrong? At all?
Forgive me.
Because I'm just such a crappy squadmate. I know I don't deserve it.
___________________________________________________________________
just recieved the news that i may possibly be able to take part in sj day after all!!!
omg.
but i musnt get my hopes too high.
christine, you
rock.
i love you sia.
no. i'm NOT les.
i mean sibling love kinda love
because my squadmates=my siblings
they're even annoying at times! just like sibling i guess
though i wouldnt really know since i dont havee any
aah! i'm happy now.
thanks christine!
you've just made my day,
and your new hairstyle is very nice.
Tøgêtµè® ŧ Øñê The Blubble Tea Squad™
forever.
I love my squadmates.
They helped me endure my crappy life.
and still do.
I stopped ranting at | 4:51 AM
havent posted in ages.
have comp train on wednesday.
and a chinese book to read. at least this one isnt as bad as the first.
spotted a beetle in the dar last night poked it, realised it was a beetle. turned on the light, poked it again, it shrank, hid its legs and acted dead when i poked it again.
killed it. still wondering why.
oh well.
crappy holiday.
still have geog proj to do with zinc.
!&@*#^%$we never had that preplanned sleepover/shopping trip.
not that i need a shopping trip.
parent bought me a...whatcha call it? dunno. like this half jacket with short sleeves?! whatever.
its black and white striped.so are my flats - bought in a despo moment of need-of-'formal'-shoes since the old ones (which were NICE) got stolen-.- despo person who stole them. they were quite cheap. sad.
so if i wear them together, i'll end up looking like a zebra.
not like i'll wear the top. too girly(one, two, three. bleah.)
this post is gonna spam the space. due to all the spaces, yeah?
cuz it needs desperate filling in.
rarr.
what's with all the talk of signing on.
wonder how many of us will sign in after our POP.
no. musnt think too far ahead.
I stopped ranting at | 8:11 AM
everyone's been posting about ALC then POP, but i'll skip ALC
i dont want to forget POP.
we chionged to rehearse out performance before the parade, then chionged to changed in 10 minutes. we were wondering where xinyi was when she suddenly rushed in and started screaming at us, about why we'd left her alone in some other toilet and not told her.
i tried to help. i tried. but just suck at comforting people. i still feel bad about it.
though i'm kinda pissed at her for getting lost in the first place since we always change there.
stop ranting, stupid.
half of parade rehearsal in the parade square. starte raining. moved to the hall. started again, stopped halfway, moved to the parade square with a slight drizzle that gradually got heavier.
i managed to stay sane at first, but when cpl lydia marched in, i think we all went nuts.
i could hear most of the squad sobbing behind me. good thing about the rain was that it washed the tears off.
i thought about the things some of them had said to me, the talks and all, and i guess a combination of that and cpl lydia hugging staff eli started me crying.
i got super pissed off with xinyi and jiamin during the performance rehearsal. i christine asked me something, so i started explaining, and xinyi just cut in and told me not to complicate things, so i let her explain to christine exactly what i had been explaining to her a few moments ago. then jiamin was telling us not to cmoplicate matters and jsut answer christine's question. what the heck.
but then again, they're such nice people that i cant help forgiving them
dinner was funny. everyone started commenting on how interesting stff xunlin looked when she walked in. (sorry staff) staff eli saw us wearing our level camp tee and bacame blur as usual: *points* "eh, why i dont have?!" ROFLMAO
we got ready for food cheer but some people still had to take food. while we waited, they played get high (our level camp dance song)
and the whole sqd started zi-highing and just danced. everyone looked at us like we were nuts. but who cares? haha.
then after food cheer ys and ks lead OUR level camp food cheer (we'd planned beforehand) it was damn entertaining sia. and after that we were super high
chionged dinner in 15 min (and wished we'd taken less food).
went to lt area to practice dance. i paired with ys and got kinda pissed with xinyi again. nevermind.
oh yes! we saw the std4s halfway and everytime a group of them came we would go": "we say goodbye, we say goodbye, we say goodbye we say goodbye" omg it was damn funny. yes, i know it sounds evil.
social nite. many of the std1s cried when we sang dou shi ni. the std3s had some wierd "maic tricks". it was quite entertaining really.
i was giving out the flowers but got interrupted halfway by jiamin even though i only had a few left. darn. oh well.
waited in 1c for the std4s and wwere talking about them abandoning us when they walked in.
played qing ni he wo zhe yang zuo - 8 beat. then everyone was saboing daniel: DANIEL 8!
someone said 'tabitha 8'.wth why is my name so long?! rarr.
saboed staff xunlin. -_- lol actually it was quite funny. charlotte blurred (as usual) and staff justin fell asleep.
the std4s gave us a keychain and notes in a bubble tea cup. haha it was quite nice. oh yes and there was a sqd photo too! full strength. rare.
they had this powerpoint with a message from staff eli. and that made me cry again. staff eli has the uncanny ability to make people cry.
they all said something to us after that, except for staff justin, who was asleep, and no one dared to wake him up. -_-
next morning, we took lots of pictures with the std4s, including one with us carrying staff kaiming (one, two, up! one, two, up!)
oh yes. there was also a video of daiel pushing his spectacles up and looking like he had a fit, and marcus stoning (your mother so fat, she wear blue dress people shout "tsunami!")
lol.
daniel somehow bacame a stuffed toy which the std4s were continually passing around-_-
and we had formed a line to hug the std4s. the guys actually hugged! lol and stff kaiming and justin were complaining how hard i shake people's hands. staff eli made me cry with the first thing she said. she's pro, i swear.
staff candice, kokswee, hosimin, and cpl eve came to talk to us. staff candice and hosimin kept crying (and I have NEVER seen staff candice cry) and they had to take turns talking and crying. lol
had a last 'we shall not be moved' but this time we jumped. then staff xunlin was going: "i know you al are going to kill me for saying this, but what do we do in a circle?"
then everyone was like WHAT THE HECK?!
in the end we didnt do circuit pumpings. though we saw the std1s doing them.
did the last std2s whoosh.
together as one. the buble tea squad.
christine lost her present at ghim moh food court and it got thrown away. good thing she and xinyi managed to retrieve it. luckily it was plastic, and therefore waterproof.
MRTed back with ys (but walked back with christine, xinyi, haonan and ys)
read and reread the letters when i got back home. which made me read the letters in std1 too.
and i cried again.
i must stop emoing. its a waste of time.
i'll miss the std4s.
I stopped ranting at | 12:27 AM
