went to henry park again toay to teach FA.
here's a cold joke from on of the boys: what did the peanut say? Nothing! peanuts dont talk, you know.
it was ok i guess.
owe 10 pumpings for forgetting the reason for bandaging a burn loosely: so as not to trap heat and let it escape.
about half the time cpl yuekho was holding this long ruler from the class that had a broken and thus pointed end, and pointing it at people.
***
gasp. these 2 or 3 days my throat's been feeling tight, and sort or strangled.
and now it's starting to be a bit hard to breathe.
wonder why.
gahh.
***
i wonder if i should close this blog.
someone might read something not intended for them.
another might misunderstand.
yet another might get hurt.
i wonder.
I stopped ranting at | 5:57 AM
I leaned against a rock, watching the waves. I wished I had someone with me. A friend. But all I could do was wish for one. Because it seemed as though I would never have one for my whole life.
I only had my class, and they all hated me to the core. No one would say it, of course, but it was obvious. I could see it in their eyes whenever they looked at me.
I wonder what I did to make it like this. I'd never realised it before, but when we moved to our new seat at the start of the new term, I realised that I was sitting next to an empty seat. At first I stupidly thought that since there were no extra seats, I would be sitting with someone after all. I was happy, because I thought I'd have a companion.
Then I realised that the girl who sat next to me acted like I wasn't there. Like she was sitting next to an empty seat. When I asked her a question she wouldnt even reply me. The very next day she moved her table to join her clique, and I was left alone, for what seemed like more than the hundredth time.
Time and again I tried to tell myself that it was all my imagination, that I was actually liked, just that it wasnt obvious enough to me.
But I knew better. They hated me and always would. For speaking too quickly without thinking. For not doing what everyone was doing. For not conforming.
I remember the time when one of the girls was talking about something, and when I asked er what it was, she told me it was a secret that involved 24 of the people in the class, no more, no less. Our class had 25 people.
I would't decieve myself any longer. It was no use trying. I was just wasting my efforts. Best to just let go. Maybe I realised that by now, even if they suddenly started to like me, it would be no use. I just hated them too much to try to love them any longer. Maybe I was meant to be that loner in the class, the one who didn't belong anywhere in the class.
I watched the waves dance at my feet as the rain poured down my face, washing off the tears, telling me it was alright.
***
ack. my neck feels wierd. wonder why.
I stopped ranting at | 6:35 AM
random malacca trip photoes i suddenly remembered about. look at weixin! LMAO
I stopped ranting at | 5:12 AM
When I walked back home today, there was a light rain. I walked slowly through it, ignoring the fact that i was getting wetter by the second, because i was enjoying the rain so much. Everyone thinks that rain is gloomy and sad, but i felt it meant happiness.
As I walked along the last stretch of road to my house, I slowed down even more, and thought through today. We'd had a squad lunch, mostly spent discussing squad affairs. Then there was squad pt.
I remembered my joy when i knew about squad lunch and pt. It was all I could do to stop myself from jumping with joy and running around the house screaming, "SQUAD LUNCH! SQUAD PT!"
Maybe it seems like I'm crazy about squad stuff, over enthu, but seriously, I just like being with my squad. Even if they ignore me, at least I'm there with them.
***
squad pt was FUN!!!!!hhahahahahaha. played captains ball for an hour plus i think. didnt kepp track of the time but knew we ended at about 2.45
people who came were samantha, xinyi, christine, daniel, haihua, manjia, yufeng, charlotte,yiren(who came over from his bball game to join us!) and me. i think that's about it. tell me if i missed out anyone.
hmm at first my team was christine, xinyi, daniel and...forgot who. sorry to that person, but i really cant remember.
then we decided the other team had all the pro people. so we regrouped and new group had yiren, christine, samantha and haihua. i was captain!
ha managed to catch about 10 goals.
daniel and manjia kept chatting in jap halfway, which resulted in manjia getting hit on the head once by the ball because she wasnt paying attention. haihua got hit on the nose and we were all crowding around her and asking her if she was alright and quoting FAcase stuff like "sir does the casuaty's nose have a deformity?" and stuff like that. haha
after that they went to have a chat, but i wanted to run, so in hte end charlotte and i chionged one round (and missed the chat session, sad.) which reminds me!
when we were finding a place to put our bags i thought i saw staff xunlin's bag, but though i was mistaken. then later we saw her and some 4D girls playing football when we ewnt to the D-area to play captain's ball. turns out they had interclass today. also saw sir jason running with some friends. gosh he's damn fast lah.
after charlotte and i ran our round we started to play monkey, and my finger got kind of injured momentarily.
when we were getting ready to go off staff xunlin came over to say hi and asked what we were doing. when we told her about squad pt she was quite surprised i think. she was showing us some random shots of someone's dislocated little finger lol. then there was this shot of the x-ray and we could see that it was dislocated till the bones were hardly touching. pity the person.
overall, squad pt was fun and fufilling. our second ever squad pt! much better than the first where was just ran a few rounds-.-
charlotte and i agreed we should have more squad pts, and some endurance training too (for jnco i guess) if we play more ball games maybe she'll stop running from the ball. which reminds me, we were joking about her being the best at dodgeball -___-
squad pt rocks.
my squad rocks even more.
in your face!
as quoted from hera std1s.><
I stopped ranting at | 4:45 AM
random conversations today:
enzhi: what if we dont complete the portfolio by the deadline?
ms kheng: i'll burn your house down
huiwen*tells jam something*
yanglaoshi:aiyo huiwen musnt be so fierce.
jam: she got pms mah
yls: noo..must say in a nicer tone: she got pms...
everyone: rofl
...sometime later
yls: what does pms mean:
some people: Permanaent Mind Sot.
ROLFMAO
omg he's too guilible.
I stopped ranting at | 2:34 AM
random quotes from yesterday:
mook:eh zonglong gotta go get the report books from miss kheng.
zl: OH MY F**K?!
lmao good thing no teacher there. we were all laughing like siao.
another one:
enzhi to jacob: oh i'm so sorry jacob, just now sdome of your drink evaporated up the straw. and of course it evaporated into my mouth, if not it would be wasted.
-_____________-
lol it was quite funny actually.
i've just remembered.
i'm running the bloody 3.6 thing
got saboed my some people.apparently i run very fast-.-
raan 7 rounds yesterday. 6 during pe (supposed to be 5 but got so depressed about lagging 1 round behind the guys after starting 1/2 a rounds later because of my doing warm ups that i decided to run 1 more round.) and 1 more after pe.
at least cherisse chong's running too.
HA! IN YOUR FACE
hera std1s will definitely recognise the above quote.
***
trivia: what's the best food youo can prepare while emoing?
answer: chop onions! you'll have a reason to shed tears, and if you get really depressed you can slit your wrists with the knife!
but i doubt i'd dare to slit anything,
though i'd gladly pull off a scab and watch the blood flow.
***
hug me.
my senior did yesterday.
or was that the day before?
I stopped ranting at | 6:05 AM
hmm.
today we had racial harmony day.
the chinese dancer's (the female one) csotume was super nice. i thinkshe was wearing a skin coloured shirt below or something because when she turned fast, you could sort of see under the jacket, and i've gotta admit it looked slightly obscene.
sqd tee discussion.
pink is a disgusting colour. i sound hypocritical since my schoolbag's that colour, but yeah.
daniel summed it up best: "pink is such a fugly colour! fugly! freaking ugly!"
those of us who didnt want pink all agreed with him
pretty funny
i shall not say damn.
i've told myself not to swear.
got a nice note from jessica (woon)
=D
I stopped ranting at | 7:14 AM
i dont know why i'm posting this, but.
today's worship. the music kind of washed over me, overwhelmed me, and i couldnt help but close my eyes and sing my heart out like i hadn't a care in the world. most people had their eyes wide open, but just had this urge to close mine and ignore everything else around me.
and i did.
halfway through we sang 'once again' and i suddenly had that sort of feeling you get when you're about to cry. and i almost did. i could feel the tears welling up in my eyes, even though i wasnt thinking of anything sad, and the song wasnt a very sad one either.
and yet i somehow enjoyed it.
i dont know how.
maybe i just need to let it go.
***
tried to play cai hong on my guitar. couldnt. all the tabs (aka something you can read to play a song that requires plucking, like a sort of score) were like, screwed? they were the melody, not acompaniment, which was what i needed-.- and it sounded crappy.
my fingers feel funny.
I stopped ranting at | 4:11 AM
hmm shant say much about training, but mostly pt was staying in crunches postiton while some of our squad did stations. we were so sian of the usualt cheers we started singing songs like the one about the little green frog, banana song, dumdumdidi and i've got peace like the river. i think we sang abc too!
haha lmao overall it was quite fun i guess.
the std3s are friendly.
i thin overall i ran 2.4 today.
2rounds or so of pt+4 rounds from siva (who thinks i can run 5 km and sent me as 1 of the 4 girls in our class to run 4.2 for the national day thingie. wth?!)
the nursings sort of met the time limit of 6 minutes for changing from full u to pt kit.. well almost. but some of us couldnt make it so we asked for time extension to 7 minutes and were ontime! yay!(: running from place to place takes up ALOT of time.
i finallt remember how it's like to be part of training.
saw caris in te toilet when i'd about finished changing and was adjusting my beret. she asked me what the occasion was and i replied: "oh, nothing. just normal training."
haha she was giving me the 0.0 look, and said something along the lines of "gosh you do this for every training?!"
stuff that cheered me up today:
-caris (see above)
-seeing mdm yujia run and remember last year's pop (ha! you'll only know if you're a std2/in smc1'07. the std4'07 one.)
-seeing christine and kaiseng saying exactly (almost) the same thing at the same time while leading warm ups(they were the ics)
-finally having RT!
to sum it up: highlight of the day = RT!!!
I stopped ranting at | 6:08 AM
yesterday when i was going to the lirary, i saw 2 policemen approach a secondary school guy sitting outside the library with some man.
the policemen asked him to take ou his handphone i think, then i saw him remove this big...bundle? from his pocket. i thought i saw a knife handle. it was.
poor guy. wonder what he was gonna do with the knife.
he seemed pretty freaked out.
today was daniel's birthday.
we sang him a birthday song!
and gave him a card and a HUGE stuffed toy dog.
perfect for a FIVE YEAR OLD like him ><
and he was saying to yiren: "my dog wants to wipe your face" haha lmao it was super funny.
though i'll never understand what the wipe face thing's about.
will get the pics from sqd blog asap(:
***
this is a from a RECENT convo from daniel:
me: *referring to his pm about feeling so old* i thought you're only 5?
daniel: yeah
i WAS
WAS
past tense
i aged 9 years in one day
cool right =D
me: oh wow
so cool man
gosh then tomorrow you'll be.. 23!
waah
so old
daniel: no
only on my birthday then i age =D
9 years
me: orh
daniel: i'm FOREVER YOUNG (:
lol
and then
me: *interrupting as usual* then next yr you'll be 23!
daniel: the next birthday
yeah (:
but there's a mathematical formula for my age
but it'll revert back to normal every few years
quite cool right 8D
me: oh wow
waah never heard of that before
daniel: now you have (:
me: wow
so cool
lol that's about it for the aging thing.
daniel i hope you dont mind(:
if, you do, though...
TOO BAD!!! WAHAHA
lol just kiddding.
i'm not as sadistic as you, so there!
and i shall end my post NOW.
I stopped ranting at | 4:43 AM
alot of stuff recently.
shall write about today.
went to popular to buy stuff for ivp, saw this little girl, probably in lower primary. she was speaking cantonese to her grandma! so embarassing i dont know any dialect...
i lost one of the buttons from my sj uniform! the one on the shoulder.
mailto:2$%5E@#^$#. thank god i saw staff candice in the library yesterday, she's lending one to me till i manage to buy my own one(:
was reading FA manual after intra comp train yesterday. at city hall this lady got on and she was smiling at me. noticed she was looking at me. then she asked me if i was from sj. told me she used to be from DHSJAB! wow.
she's 1 year older than sir hwa weil (or is it wah wei?).
and she asked me to say hi to him, but i dont know her name, so how do i say hi? -.-
saw sir chee hoe(i think) this morning.yesterday they were saying 2 of the sirs were teaching in DHS! chem and something else... haha good thing i'm not in their class>< that would be freaky.
random shots during nat comp. shall post them when i'm free (if i ever, i'l try to do it in school...) gtg let my dad use com.
there's a picture that i took which was pretty funny. lol. at first i was trying to take staff audray and candice. then staff candice moved to hide her face behind staff audrey, who was in front of her. then staff audrey moved in the same direction in order to get out of the camera's screen. so.... *picture*
staff cindy lost her nametag, so she borrowed someone's old one...*picture*
then she decided to accept a certain squadmate's offer of nametag (she happened to have it in her bag)...so our sqdmate got promoed for a short while to staff!!! haha*picture*
rarr. i wanted to write a longer post.
congrats to the comp teams! we know you did your best and were SUPER SEH!!! =D
I stopped ranting at | 5:17 AM
lala
comclass now.
waiting for la corda to load.
yep. i'm watching it.XD
rarr gotta stay back for 3 period HCL, which is ALSO the first lesson tommorow.
and tomorrow's lesson's ALSO 3 periods
rarr.
____________________________________________________________________
some visitors just came and i think someone saw me watching la corda before i managed to close it in time. whoops.
i'd better stop watching it during com class><
I stopped ranting at | 6:12 PM
today's PE was wierd.
new(i hope)/relief teacher.
cherisse and i held guys pumping style 7minutes, i did about 60+sit ups, 30++ pumpings (girls).
hmm
we have a trainee LA teacher: miss cheong.
she looks like the actress who acted as susan in the narnia movie! we all agreed.
hair- and face- wise.
maths lesson was -.-
mrs koh said: "could you turn on the light please?"
so both sher min and en zhi ty to turn on light from different end of classroom.
result: the light goes off for a split second, then goes on again.
lol that happened a few times.
went back with zinc, slacked at white sands mc donalds. she had no malay today!
that reminds me:
MATHS HOMEWORK I STILL CANT DO!!!
rarr.
I stopped ranting at | 6:18 AM
haha i found this song its quite funny. its pretty old and the tune is that sort of oldies tune, but the lyrics are kinda funny, and abit sadistic too XD
I met you on a springtime day,
You were minding your life and I was minding mine too.
Lady, when you looked my way,
I had a strange sensation and Darling, that's when I knew...
Chorus
That it's sad to belong to someone else,
When the right one comes along.
Yes, it's sad to belong to someone else,
When the right one comes along.
Oh, I wake up in the night,
And I reach beside me hoping you would be there.
But instead I find someone,
Who believed in me when I said I'd always care...
*Chorus*
So I'll live my life in a dream world,
For the rest of my days.
Just you and me walking hand in hand,
In a wishful memory...
Oh, I guess it's all that it will ever be...
I wish I had a time machine, I could,
Make myself go back until the day I was born.
Then I would live my life again,
And rearrange it so that I'd be yours from now on.
*Chorus x4*
Lol it's super sadistic!! haiz makes me laugh. i'm learning this song currently (though its really meant for guys to singXD) :
And Aubrey was her name,
A not so very ordinary girl or name.
But who's to blame?
For a love that wouldn't bloom
For the hearts that never played in tune.
Like a lovely melody that everyone can sing,
Take away the words that rhyme it doesn't mean a thing.
And Aubrey was her name.
We triped the light and danced together to the moon,
But where was June.
No it never came around.
If it did it never made a sound,
Maybe I was absent or was listening to fast,
Catching all the words, but then the meaning going past,
But God I miss the girl,
And I'd go a thousand times around the world just to be
Closer to her than to me.
And Aubrey was her name,
I never knew her, but I loved her just the same,
I loved her name.
Wish that I had found the way
And the reasons that would make her stay.
I have learned to lead a life apart from all the rest.
If I can't have the one I want, I'll do without the best.
But how I miss the girl
And I'd go a million times around the world just to say
She had been mine for a day.
ahh lol see what i mean? but it's pretty nice. by this old band called bread.
and that's all folks!
i shall now chiong history.
and any ppl in th sqd who wants POP video tell me, i can send you (:
I stopped ranting at | 6:19 AM
just watched the POP video sgt audrey passed me.
the pictures bring back loads and loads of mmories.
like the time we climbed the wall, the time we held hands to run, the time we saboed the std4s to do more pumpings. std1 comp. hah that was nice too.
i remember other stuff too, like the time when yongsheng counted in jap when we were doing sit ups, when we did about 3 or 4 times the number of pumpings we should have originally done for not wearing standardised socks on the hot parade square. the last training when staff xunlin and i kept trying to block each other and she was calling me some pervertic twin or something. when i tried to block staff eli during the exact same training and she was too fast for me.
i was reading through my archives, and realise how different std1 was.
how fun and slack it was.
how innocent and immature i was.
how silly i was to waste time trying to make friends with my classmates.
when my squadmates were there all the while.
should have realised it earlier.
but at least now i know.
my squad's a great squad.(:
I stopped ranting at | 3:45 AM
today's pd was..interesting.
at first haonan and me went around persuading people to buy kitkats for 2 dollars apiece for charity. persuaded std4s to share a bar.
later on at...11 plus? i was wandering around the canteen because i was just to tired to bother going anywhere else.
then this guy told us: hey you're from sj right? someone got hurt at the basketball court.
haonan and i ran to the basketball court - well half for the sheer boredom - and saw this crowd. we went over. turned out nicole (as in nic siah. the sec3 who took us during yr 1 orientation) sprained her ankle -.-
so i helped cpl janson to take over icing it and then we just stoned. as in seriously stoned. i was just kneeling there, and the only thing i said was: "is it still very pain?"like...countless times.
later on cpl janson was complaining about "no reassurance of casualty...not bad ah." lol.
in the end they decided to take her to the sickbay.
so i helped to bandage the ankle first (comeone brought the first aid box - the bog wooden one- from the sick bay) then we carried her there. well i carried the FA box, the std3s carried her. i wanted to help cpl zhiwei but she insisted it was ok (even though later on her hadns were damn red)
hmm. iced the ankle again, and cpl zhiwei was putting a tray below so the kitkat boxes ( we were resting her foot on them) wouldnt get soaked. and she was joking about serving nicole's foot>
OK. i'm shall not complain.
went to sj room. saw 2 sirs (forgot names as usual) playing carom. they sprinkled johnson's baby powder on the board._.
ha! today was fun. get to do more practical FA and train arm strength (sort of). yay! ok fine, i sound sadistic i know.
OH YES!!!
we sang a birthday song for staff/sgt? (oops forgot rank. i think its staff.)
her birthday's next week, but yeah. no other time the sqd free.
daniel and kaiseng came (seperately) just after the song ended. sad.
gave her a cake! and she almost dropped it.
haha
the candle kept going out so in the end we stood near their table in the canteen along the corridor, lit it (hiding it from their view of course) and gave it to her.
haha. today was overall fun i guess. though the kitkat selling was pretty sian.
and i shall now go learn a new (well technically old) guitar song: Aubrey. its actually this love song by a guy who kinda has a crush on a girl or something.
ahhh! you go listen yourself larh.(: I stopped ranting at | 2:21 AM
friday 27th june:
daniel christine and i invited staff/mdm eli,xunlin,audrey and yi an to watch the syfoc preview we were part of. we were in the parade segment. have i said this before? hmm...
some random stuff.dont feel like doing history. some kupped from staff xunlin:
You Are a Glazed Donut
|
Okay, you know that you're plain - and you're cool with that.
You prefer not to let anything distract from your sweetness.
Your appeal is understated yet universal. Everyone dig you.
And in a pinch, you'll probably get eaten.
|
half is true. guess which half!
Your Gemstone Says...
|
You are stable, strong, and full of life. You are an inspiring person.
People turn to you first for leadership and advice.
You are able to gently help people get to where they need to be.
And while you aren't afraid to lead when necessary, you are never heartless or bossy.
|
aww. how nice.
What Your Peanut Butter And Jelly Sandwich Means
|
Your eating style is reserved. You are a bit of a fussy eater, and you have very specific ways you like your food prepared.
You have an average sweet tooth. While you enjoy desserts, they aren't exactly your downfall.
Your taste in food tends to be conservative and traditional. It's likely that you prefer "All American" favorites like mac and cheese or hamburgers.
You belong to a class that's all your own. You resist rules and traditions of any sort.
You are a tough person who isn't afraid to live life fully. There isn't a lot that scares you.
You are laid back and extremely easygoing. You never make a fuss, and you try to enjoy every moment.
|
what the heck?!
You Are Banana Pocky
|
Your attitude: fun and lighthearted
Unique and unforgettable
You are cutie everyone falls for
|
pfft. wow there's banana pocky? gosh.
You Would Be a Pet Bird
|
You're intelligent and witty, yet surprisingly low maintenance.
You charm people easily, and they usually love you a lot more than you love them.
You resent anyone who tries to own or control you. You refuse to be fenced in.
Why you would make a great pet: You're very smart and entertaining
Why you would make a bad pet: You're not interested in being anyone's pet!
What you would love about being a bird: Flying, obviously
What you would hate about being a bird: Being caged
|
i prefer cats really, but that sounds like me!
You are Flat Sandals
|
Casual yet flirty
You look great in a simple top and jeans
Your look is approachable and cute!
|
approachable? cute?! ahem.
What Your Soul Really Looks Like
|
You are very passionate and quite temperamental. While you can be moody, you always crave comfort.
You are a grounded person, but you also leave room for imagination and dreams. You feet may be on the ground, but you're head is in the clouds.
You believe that people see you as larger than life and important. While this is true, they also think you're a bit full of yourself.
Your near future is still unknown, and a little scary. You'll get through wild times - and you'll textually enjoy it.
For you, love is all about caring and comfort. You couldn't fall in love with someone you didn't trust.
|
Your Element Is Water
|
A bit of a contradiction, you can seem both lighthearted and serious.
That's because you're good at going with the flow - but you also are deep.
Highly intuitive, you tune in to people's emotions and moods easily.
You are able to tap into deep emotional connections and connect with others.
You prefer a smooth, harmonious life - but you can navigate your way around waves.
You have a knack for getting people to get along and making life a little more peaceful.
|
and i wondered why the typical report book line for my primary school about my being a good mediator popped up in my head after reading this...
You Make a Good First Impression
|
You probably are making a much better impression than you realize.
Social situations can be a bit awkward for you at times, and you tend to over think what you say and do.
If you make a social faux pas, you remember it a lot longer than anyone else does.
Just relax and do your best. There are little things you can do to improve your social image.
Express more of an interest in the people around you, and be a good listener.
The secret of fascinating people is that they find everyone else fascinating!
|
HUH?! oh yeah right.
Your Love is Based on Friendship
|
For you, chemistry doesn't really happen without compatibility.
Companionship and openness are the most important parts of your relationships.
Whoever you love should be your best friend.
And falling in love with a good friend is never out of the question.
Why your love can last: You only fall for people who you truly understand... and who truly understand you
Why your love can fail: Sometimes you don't admit how important physical chemistry is to you
|
that's true. sort of. i guess.
ha! i love this one.(:
and now i shall do what i was SUPPOSED to be doing, hisotry report, which is really almost-not-really done, and try to plan geog, which i'm suposed to discuss with zinc butshe;s not online. AAH still have stupid maths worksheet.
dont care. i shall do it during PD!!!!
ha. yes i have youth day celeb pd tmr. so fun right?
and today's idmi was stupid. we bribe the teacher with food. sort of.
toodles(:
I stopped ranting at | 6:17 AM
