hello.

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

I thought we were friends.
I thought we were the best of friends.
I thought we were the best of friends despite whatever differences, whatever problems we faced.
I was wrong.

Things happened.
I told myself “Yes, it’s all over now, we can finally be together.”
I had this stupid, foolish hope that it would never happen again.
Again, I was wrong.

Just as we finally mended one of the cracks in our friendship, more cracks appeared.
Maybe they were from the mending of the first, maybe just hidden till now.
And they just keep getting more and more obvious as they grew, just like the first.
This time, I wanted to be wrong.

I wanted to have seen it wrongly.
I wanted them to be the healing scars of the first crack, nothing more.
I wanted to tell myself I’d just seen wrongly, been disillusioned by the magnitude of the first crack.
I wanted our friendship to be finally healed for good.

Is it that hard?
Is it that hard for us to be back together?
Is it that hard to accept one another’s differences, accept our weaknesses?
Is it really that hard to be friends?

Long before all this, I used to take friendship for granted, thinking it was instant.
I soon learnt I was wrong, and friendships seemed somewhat impossible.
When we met, I was broken, disheartened, and did stupid things.
Because I no longer cared.

Not about friends - they were worthless.
Not about school - I had no one to look forward to seeing.
Not about my life - it was screwed.
I only cared about you.

And yet, you didn’t seem to care either.
I thought you did.
Maybe I was wrong.
Or not.

Screw it, why am I so bloody insensitive?
So numb to everything around me?
So insensitive toward those I’ve hurt?
Why?

I hope you’ll forgive me.
I hope we can finally mend our friendship, once and for all.
I want all this to end.
Do you?

Oh, this is just so screwed.
I don’t want this to carry on any longer.
Not a single second more.
Can’t we just talk this out?

I don’t want anyone to be hurt.
Or kept in the dark.
Or be left out.
I don’t want anyone to go through what I have.

Trust me, you wouldn't want that to happen.

Screw it, tabs. stop emoing.
It's a waste of time.

I stopped ranting at | 4:48 AM

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

argh.

year 3

screwed.

i need to think of an emo plot for my play

maybe i'll just write bout my yr 1 life.

but how do i end it?

screw it. i need inspiration.

and i must stop swearing.

I stopped ranting at | 5:39 AM

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

today, kaiseng was parade commander for marning assembly, probably because there weren't any std4s around? haha he looked cool (:

i went to aries at white sands to buy hairnets. 2 were the wrong sort gotta go back change them tomorrow -.- i bought 25 hairnets 24, for teh std2s, 1for yufeng. i think the auntie thought i was hilarious, she was grinning at me XD

COMP TEAM RESULTS ARE OUT!!!

AC:
no.1 Daniel
no.2 Haonan
no.3 Yiren
4 and 5: forgot who is who whoopsXD Marcus and Kaiseng

NC:
no.1 JiaMin
no. 2,3,4: forgot order again. Manjia, Charlotte and Xinyi
no.5 YuFeng

I realised that this is quite nice for me since:
1. I can slack abit more, no pressure =D
2. I can be casualty!!!!
3. Marcus is in AC, which mean's I'm the only std3 left in Hera, which means I can be no.1 for intra-comp!!!! yay

haha. i shall now have to chiong boot polishing, or i shall never sleep tonight.
and staff Xunlin, I still owe you your scarf (sry la, used to calling you that =D)

I stopped ranting at | 5:18 AM